How to Complete Your To-Be-Read List Before You Die

Posted September 5, 2013 by lockhartbecca in Uncategorized / 6 Comments

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We all have that fear. That we will die without
reading all the books on our to-be-read list. I know I do. Sometimes I feel
like all I should do is sit and read 24/7 so I can finish all the books. So I
decided to devise a fail-proof plan to complete your TBR list before you die.  

            

Follow These Steps to Complete Your TBR List Before You Die:

  1. Win the lottery so you can buy all
    the books 
  2. Quit your job  
  3. Hire a personal book delivery person
    to hand-deliver all books.  
  4. Create a reading nook complete with
    bathtub, toilet, freezer, and microwave. This way you never have to leave your
    room.   
  5. Stock the freezer full of
    hotpockets.  
  6. Position yourself so you are near
    the toilet at all times. Why? See #5.   
  7. Always keep a minimum of 50 books in
    stock in case of emergency.  
  8. Get rid of any animals or small
    children so you are no longer responsible for feeding them.  
  9. Say goodbye to your family/loved
    ones. You won’t be seeing them again. 
  10. Disconnect the internet. 
  11. The only website/app you are allowed
    to visit is Goodreads to check books off your list and of course, to add more. 
  12. Keep your Kindle nearby along with
    its power adapter in case your book delivery person is delayed. 
  13. If you must clean yourself, you may
    only take baths so you can bring your book with you. 
  14. In case of fire, grab all books.
    Disregard your own safety or the safety of others. This shouldn’t be a problem
    if you already completed step #8 and #9.  
  15. By now you’ve probably neglected to
    pay your electric bill. Invest in some candles so your reading is
    uninterrupted.  
  16. Have book delivery person buy you a
    blender. Why? You’ve probably neglected to brush your teeth so by now all your
    teeth have fallen out. You’ll need to blend your hotpockets and eat them
    through a straw. 
  17. Prepare an audio book collection for
    when you go blind. 
Congratulations!
If you have followed the above steps you should complete your TBR list before
you die. Unless of course, you just started that new series and oh wait,
there’s that other new series coming out, and that new standalone, and that new
debut author everyone is talking about and what about….Oh f***. 
Maybe God will let me bring my books to heaven?   

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6 responses to “How to Complete Your To-Be-Read List Before You Die

  1. Ha. This is great. I'm particularly a fan of the, "Win lottery, quit job, stock freezer with hot pockets," path, as well as the "In case of fire, grab all books." I've just come to the conclusion that I'll never read everything on my TBR pile. Which is why I feel like I need to go through my Goodreads list of be realistic about what I will and will not read at this point in my life >_< It stresses me out to see 184 books next to "to-read," label.

    • Thanks! I also feel super overwhelmed by the sheer amount of books on my TBR list. And the fact that I add at least 2-3 more per week. I'm never going to finish! And if I go through and try to take some books off it doesn't work. It's worse than when I try and clean out my closet and I'm all "I haven't worn this in awhile, but I might wear it someday." Same thing only worse. I think "I haven't even tried that book, how can I take it off my list?" Fail. Hopefully God will let me bring my books to heaven for reals. Or I will be one sad girl.

  2. Yeah, sometimes I feel as if I don't read a certain amount per day I get stressed, but then I realize that my TBR pile will always increase and never decrease and that there are more important things than reading. *GASP* Did I just say that?! But seriously though, I have come to terms with the fact that I will never read every book I want to read. But great post!! haha 🙂

    • I have not come to terms with that fact, yet my TBR list keeps growing and it totally freaks me out! Everytime I go on goodreads and see how many books or on my to read list I die a little inside. Lol guess I need to accept the fact that I probably won't get to all of them. But how do you decide which ones to read??

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